In Memoriam

I don’t remember much, but what I do remember impresses me deeply. Over the past couple of years, I lost touch with you, as was the case with most people I knew semi-well my sophomore year. I remember feeling awkward last year when you and your friend needed a table at Saga and you joined ours until we left. I used to feel comfortable around you, but it had been so long and we had nothing to talk about anymore.

The best memory I have of you is one that I never told you about. We weren’t close enough for me to tell you about it without feeling like a creep. Still, it changed something in my heart, and I’m grateful to you for giving me that moment, even if you didn’t know you had done it.

You used to come to Ben Rey’s WCF prayer group. I don’t remember anything else that took place at the particular prayer group that I’m thinking of…no major breakthroughs or prophetic words from God. Just you. You got up to leave early because you had class. I was sitting on the floor in the corner of Mac/Evans prayer room. My usual spot. I wasn’t particularly focused on the LORD or feeling all that spiritual. But somehow when you stood up, my heart split with how beautiful you were. (I know, creepy, right? I promise I didn’t have a crush on you. Now you see why I never told you.) It was weird and unexpected. All of a sudden, I was looking at you through God’s eyes. I know people talk about that a lot. Heck, I talked about it often, but I never really knew what I was talking about until that moment. I’m still not sure why it happened, but watching you as you left the room left me overwhelmed by God’s love for you in particular and for us as a human race. It’s hard to articulate fully, but I came away from that day with a new understanding of how precious we are in His sight. All the clichés became a reality because of the way you looked then…your gentleness, your humility, the curls on your head, the slight stoop in your back, the bone structure of your face. It was physical beauty and yet deeper. More complete. I sensed His absolute delight in you, and it moves me still. I’m glad you’re enjoying His presence.